Sexual Addiction…’s not love

The term “sexual addiction” is described as the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex.  The thought of sex tends to dominate the sex addict’s thinking.  This type of behavior makes it difficult to work or engage themselves in a healthy relationship.

Their thinking is distorted, and often they will rationalize and justify their behavior.  They have at times blamed others for their problem.  Sexual addiction is also a form of risk taking.  A person with a this addiction engages in various types of sexual activities, regardless of the potential for dangerous or negative consequences.  In addition to damaging their relationships or social life, a sexual addict also puts the other person at risk for emotional or physical risk.

For some men and woman, the sex addiction can progress into illegal behaviors, such as exposing ones self (exhibitionism), making obscene phone calls, or even molestation.  However, it should be noted that the majority or sex addicts do not become sex offenders.

Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:
–  Compulsive masturbation

–  Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)

–  Multiple partners and/or one night stands

–  Consistent use of pornography

–  Unsafe sex

– Phone or cyber sex

–  Use of prostitution

–  Watching others have sex

–  Stalking

–  Sexual harassment

Generally, a person with a sex addition gains very little satisfaction from sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his/her partners.  A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite all the negative consequences.


Most sex addicts live in denial.  Treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that they have a problem.  In many cases, it takes the break-up of a marriage or other crisis – that forces the person to admit that he/she has a problem.

Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality.  It may include education about healthy sex, individual counseling, and marital or family therapy.  Support groups sometimes will use the twelve step program for people with sexual addictions and in some cases medication can be used as a treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder.

If you or a loved one have a sexual addiction, there is help out there.  Contact Sex Addicts Anonymous for more info.

I read the book called “Is It Love or Is It Addiction?”  written by Brenda Schaeffer

You can find this book on my website under “useful links”



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