the story continued……

So, I went through school a nervous and jerky kid who wasn’t accepted into any one group.  When I was home I would worry about getting sick and when I was at school I would worry about being picked on by my own peers.  There wasn’t much time in between to be relaxed.  My mother and father thought that I was strange because of my habits and did as much as they could to ignore the situation.  In fact, my mother would consistently yell at me, asking me why I couldn’t be more like my little sister….having friends and not being so weird.  She had no idea how much that hurt me to hear, but I just listened and then hid in my room.

By the time I was in grade school the girls were nasty as hell, picking on me all the time.  They would flick nickles and pennies at my head in the lunch room and you would have thought that I would have been smart enough to pick them up.  I could have been rich!  Going to school made me so nervous that at one point I decided to get onto the bus at my stop and then tell the bus driver that I didn’t feel good and asked if i could get off at the next stop so I could  walk back home.  I went and hid in my wooded back yard, in a fort that we made and waited patiently until my parents would leave. I did my best to stay warm my popcorn puffy jacket, crying and crying wondering why no one understood me or even liked me.  Once I knew the coast was clear, I would sneak into the back sliding glass door and would grab a glass of water. I really didn’t know what to do once I was inside besides sit and warm up from the chill I had in my bones.  I did this a few times in a row until the school finally caught on and called my parents into the guidance office.  The counselor and my parents decided that I was having some depression difficulties and that I should go see a therapist.  Oh boy, was that a joke.  This woman they sent me to looked as though she needed some serious help herself.  Her hair was kinky and gray and she smoked like a fiend.  She tried to teach me relaxation techniques by taking deep breaths and trying to relax.  I was appalled by the thought of someone like her telling me to relax.  It was all a joke in my eyes.  No one understood me and all it did was makes things worse.  Well I used to love to go into my dads office and sing to my little record player and and pretending to play office and while I was in there one day, I saw the bill for my visit to this shrink.  I very sternly walked into the family room and looked at both my parents and said “I will never ever go back to see that wacky woman again”.  They both just looked at me and then looked at each other.  I am not sure they knew what to say to my aggressiveness but they agreed not to send me there anymore.  It was a miracle.  What my father didn’t know is that I couldn’t even grasp the thought of him spending so much money on me for such a stupid reason.  I always knew they had financial issues and I didn’t want to cause any more problems than I already had.

By the time I hit high school, I was still being picked on and it ended up being worse since I was a freshman.  Freshman Friday would come and I would be panic stricken by what was going to happen to me.  I met a new girl to our school that didn’t know anyone else and her and I became really good friends.  She was so beautiful and didn’t have any problems with upper classmates like I did, but that never bothered her one bit.  We both became cheerleaders and I would get picked on and she wouldn’t.  I was no nervous half the time that I ended up dropping out eventually because I just couldn’t handle the peer pressure any longer.  It got so bad  that there were days where I wouldn’t enter the lunch room because the kids would call me Yoda and laugh at me.  I would sit in the hallway, starving with no lunch.  It really sucked!!!!!

to be continued…….Is there anyone else out there with horror stories of kids picking on them in school?  I would love to hear about them if you do.

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