Wow….how do you spell relief????

Living with depression for most of my life, I have found that the bad days can be very lonely and grueling where as the good seem to surprise me.  My youngest daughter contracted bronchial pneumonia and considering that we are out of town, had to take her to an emergency care center.  The whole entire day was tiring but in the end we got her some medicine and started treating her as quick as possible.  

I don’t know about anyone else but days like that one tend to make me very tense and stressed to no end so I feel drained the next day.  I get really down and makes me feel as though I don’t want to exist again.  

The day before this we had all gone to a fun plex to hang out for the day…..not having a lot of money due to being a disabled person, that was also depressing.  My children just kept haunting me for more money that I didn’t have to give them.  That part of my life never ever ends.  I keep wondering what keeps me here and not calling it quits.  I saw a post online yesterday that said “If the things that we go threw in out lives are supposed to make us stronger, I should be able to bench press a cadillac by now”  I so think that is true.  Living with this disability hasn’t made me stronger, it’s made me MORE depressed knowing that my income is poverty level and I struggle to survive with my children every day.  How can that be a good thing?  NOT!!!  

Does anyone know how I feel?  Is there anyone else out there that deals with the same crap everyday that I do?  hummmmmm……..I wonder!

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